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Sandy's Latest Funnies
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So is this one we sending to Ukraine?
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An old geezer, who had been a retired farmer for a long time became very bored and decided to open a medical clinic. He put a sign up outside that said: "Get your treatment for $500 - if not cured get back $1,000." Doctor "Young," who was positive that this old geezer didn't know beans about medicine, thought this would be a great opportunity to get $1,000. He went to Dr. Geezer's clinic and this is what happened. Dr. Young: "Dr. Geezer, I have lost all taste in my mouth. Can you please help me? Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in Dr. Young's mouth." Dr. Young: "Aaagh! This is Gasoline!" Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your taste back. That will be $500." Dr. Young gets annoyed and goes back after a couple of days figuring to recover his money. Dr Young: "I have lost my memory, I cannot remember anything." Dr. Geezer: "Nurse, please bring medicine from box 22 and put 3 drops in the patient's mouth." Doctor Young: "Oh no you don't, that's Gasoline!" Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You've got your memory back. That will be $500." Dr. Young (after having lost $1000) leaves angrily and comes back after several more days. Dr. Young: "My eyesight has become weak I can hardly see!" Dr. Geezer: "Well, I don't have any medicine for that so. Here's your $1000 back." Dr. Young: "But this is only $500..." Dr. Geezer: "Congratulations! You got your vision back! That will be $500."
Moral of story: Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer "
Moral of story: Just because you're "Young" doesn't mean that you can outsmart an old "Geezer "
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It was Saturday night and the preacher still hadn't been able to think of a sermon for the next morning. About 9:00 p.m. he finally said to his wife, "Dear, I think I've come up with the perfect sermon! I'm going to give a sermon about horseback riding!"
She said, "Don't be silly! You can't give a sermon about horseback riding!"
He replied, "Well, it's going to have to do because I've preached on just about every other subject I can think of." The next morning as they were driving to church, she said, "I can't believe that you're insisting on doing this! You know, If you're going to give that silly sermon on horseback riding, I'm just going to stay in the car during the service."
He said, "OK, then, suit yourself!", so she stayed in the car. Entering church before the service, the preacher had a sudden inspiration and gave a hell-fire and brimstone sermon on SEX that just had the congregation in awe. As the congregation filed out of the church, some of he members saw his wife sitting in the car and approached her window. One of them said, "Wow! you just missed the best sermon your husband has EVER given!"
She said, "Yeah, right! What does he know about it! He talks big but he's only tried it twice in his life! "Once before we were married and once after, and he fell off both times!"
She said, "Don't be silly! You can't give a sermon about horseback riding!"
He replied, "Well, it's going to have to do because I've preached on just about every other subject I can think of." The next morning as they were driving to church, she said, "I can't believe that you're insisting on doing this! You know, If you're going to give that silly sermon on horseback riding, I'm just going to stay in the car during the service."
He said, "OK, then, suit yourself!", so she stayed in the car. Entering church before the service, the preacher had a sudden inspiration and gave a hell-fire and brimstone sermon on SEX that just had the congregation in awe. As the congregation filed out of the church, some of he members saw his wife sitting in the car and approached her window. One of them said, "Wow! you just missed the best sermon your husband has EVER given!"
She said, "Yeah, right! What does he know about it! He talks big but he's only tried it twice in his life! "Once before we were married and once after, and he fell off both times!"
30161 - 30180 of 32580 Posts
